Currently, by coincidence, I am a primary caretaker of a young lady about to turn three years along in the world, and I don’t think I have laughed like I did watching this video in quite a while. I love my granddaughter with all my heart and even though the circumstances which brought her to my door are actually fairly disadvantageous, you wouldn’t know it from talking to her. Caring for her is an enormous challenge for me, and this TED video lecture explains well just why that is so.
As a father, I raised six children to adulthood, the youngest of which will be 22 years along in the world next month. When the youngest was born, the oldest was nine, but when each of them were three or four years along in the world, I was much younger, and so busy with attending to them all that I dare say I was not able to focus even in the way described by the scientist in the lecture!
In my current role as caretaker, I actually do have some time to focus on just this one creativity machine, and it is STILL enormously demanding, although also equally gratifying in a number of ways. I can corroborate the findings in the studies firsthand. This young lady in my life is far better at devising solutions to the problems I present her than I am at coming up with ways to divert her from “getting into everything.” I am constantly astonished at the level of intelligence and creativity my granddaughter displays and even though I am clearly disarmed when it comes to saying “no,” even my most adamant “NO” can be disabled by her apparently endless creative solutions to the problems I present her in attempting to make the “NO” stick.
I have written a fair amount about our interactions, and this may become a blog entry for me in the near future. Thanks for the link to the video!
John H.
John – that is one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard! You should definitely write that down for your granddaughter – she’ll absolutely love to read it in the future.
I think that the current view of children focuses on how much we, as adults (and not just parents) ‘give up’ for them – hardly anybody talks about how much we get! I have three children – the youngest will be 21 soon (before I say another thing – kudos on six!) – but truthfully, nothing I ever had to ‘sacrifice’ for them could really count as any kind of deprivation as I always feel I got at least as much out of the deal as they did!
I think it may be because we think that we will be happy if we serve ourselves but honestly, I am convinced that we are designed to serve others – not in a subservient/slave type of way but in healthy, happy way and as a free choice. We always seem to be happier when we are doing stuff for other people anyway.
What I love about Alison Kopnik’s talk is that she points out how much we as a society have to put into children and examines the practical benefits of this protracted, difficult and expensive human childhood, not just to parents but also to us as a society.
You might enjoy this talk as well – it’s on a different topic but has some interesting points to make about human interaction I think –
[ted id=1075]
Best of luck with your granddaughter – and I look forward to reading about her!
It also amazes me sometimes how some people view their lives after having produced children as though it has been “an enormous sacrifice,” and how some others go on about how glad they are that they “didn’t have any,” or swear off having children altogether, as if they might contract the plague or something. I am a firm believer in accepting the view of people who feel strongly they do NOT want children, and agree that they definitely should NOT have them, as there are far too many “unwanted” children in the world currently.
The only people who SHOULD have children are those who actually DO want them in their lives. I knew early on in my life that I wanted to be a parent, and feel very fortunate that my children have all turned out well, in spite of not having every advantage growing up.
I recommend parenthood to anyone who asks me my opinion, and even though having the responsibility for them can be challenging, the rewards are great. I love all my children and have a loving relationship with them all. I know that it doesn’t always turn out that way, and I know I am blessed beyond measure in this respect and don’t take it for granted.
Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts and for listening so patiently.
John H.
No need for thanks – no sacrifice involved (!) – thank you for sharing your thoughts.
This ties in to the need for balance between left analytical linear brain vs. right experiential brain.
Adults pre-judge based on the past. Children are open to the “what is” as it is right in front of them.
Thanks, Patrecia!
Excellent point, Nancy – perhaps that is how we might reconnect with our divergent-thinking selves – thanks.
Currently, by coincidence, I am a primary caretaker of a young lady about to turn three years along in the world, and I don’t think I have laughed like I did watching this video in quite a while. I love my granddaughter with all my heart and even though the circumstances which brought her to my door are actually fairly disadvantageous, you wouldn’t know it from talking to her. Caring for her is an enormous challenge for me, and this TED video lecture explains well just why that is so.
As a father, I raised six children to adulthood, the youngest of which will be 22 years along in the world next month. When the youngest was born, the oldest was nine, but when each of them were three or four years along in the world, I was much younger, and so busy with attending to them all that I dare say I was not able to focus even in the way described by the scientist in the lecture!
In my current role as caretaker, I actually do have some time to focus on just this one creativity machine, and it is STILL enormously demanding, although also equally gratifying in a number of ways. I can corroborate the findings in the studies firsthand. This young lady in my life is far better at devising solutions to the problems I present her than I am at coming up with ways to divert her from “getting into everything.” I am constantly astonished at the level of intelligence and creativity my granddaughter displays and even though I am clearly disarmed when it comes to saying “no,” even my most adamant “NO” can be disabled by her apparently endless creative solutions to the problems I present her in attempting to make the “NO” stick.
I have written a fair amount about our interactions, and this may become a blog entry for me in the near future. Thanks for the link to the video!
John H.
John – that is one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard! You should definitely write that down for your granddaughter – she’ll absolutely love to read it in the future.
I think that the current view of children focuses on how much we, as adults (and not just parents) ‘give up’ for them – hardly anybody talks about how much we get! I have three children – the youngest will be 21 soon (before I say another thing – kudos on six!) – but truthfully, nothing I ever had to ‘sacrifice’ for them could really count as any kind of deprivation as I always feel I got at least as much out of the deal as they did!
I think it may be because we think that we will be happy if we serve ourselves but honestly, I am convinced that we are designed to serve others – not in a subservient/slave type of way but in healthy, happy way and as a free choice. We always seem to be happier when we are doing stuff for other people anyway.
What I love about Alison Kopnik’s talk is that she points out how much we as a society have to put into children and examines the practical benefits of this protracted, difficult and expensive human childhood, not just to parents but also to us as a society.
You might enjoy this talk as well – it’s on a different topic but has some interesting points to make about human interaction I think –
[ted id=1075]
Best of luck with your granddaughter – and I look forward to reading about her!
Thanks.
Why didn’t that work? OK – I’ll try again.
[ted id=1075]
or
http://www.ted.com/talks/patricia_kuhl_the_linguistic_genius_of_babies.html
It also amazes me sometimes how some people view their lives after having produced children as though it has been “an enormous sacrifice,” and how some others go on about how glad they are that they “didn’t have any,” or swear off having children altogether, as if they might contract the plague or something. I am a firm believer in accepting the view of people who feel strongly they do NOT want children, and agree that they definitely should NOT have them, as there are far too many “unwanted” children in the world currently.
The only people who SHOULD have children are those who actually DO want them in their lives. I knew early on in my life that I wanted to be a parent, and feel very fortunate that my children have all turned out well, in spite of not having every advantage growing up.
I recommend parenthood to anyone who asks me my opinion, and even though having the responsibility for them can be challenging, the rewards are great. I love all my children and have a loving relationship with them all. I know that it doesn’t always turn out that way, and I know I am blessed beyond measure in this respect and don’t take it for granted.
Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts and for listening so patiently.
John H.
No need for thanks – no sacrifice involved (!) – thank you for sharing your thoughts.
This ties in to the need for balance between left analytical linear brain vs. right experiential brain.
Adults pre-judge based on the past. Children are open to the “what is” as it is right in front of them.
Thanks, Patrecia!
Excellent point, Nancy – perhaps that is how we might reconnect with our divergent-thinking selves – thanks.