The Wolves Inside Us

20 Commentsacting with honour, coherence, conceptual framework, courage, how can we live together, learning to live together, learning to think, Metaphor, Philosophy, Power of Story, reciprocity, reflection, Uncategorized

A Cherokee boy was upset with a friend who had done him an injustice and he went to his grandfather for advice.  The old man sat him down and told him a story.

I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do.

But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.” He continued, “It is as if there are two wolves inside me. One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger,for his anger will change nothing.

Sometimes, it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit.”

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which one wins, Grandfather?”

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said, “The one I feed.” (1)

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(1) http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html

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20 Comments

        1. That is a great poem, thank you so much – it really does articulate this idea very well. It’s hard isn’t it – as Plato said – the inadequacy of words to express the nature of reality. Thanks for that – and the comment.

    1. It certainly can unfortunately – interestingly the person in the story who has learned this lesson is elderly – probably did take his lifetime to learn it as you said – but maybe his passing it on to his grandson might speed up the process for the boy.

  4. Well done!
    These stories communicate truths imbedded deeply into the personal and collective subconscious.
    I think most people are born knowing there are 2 wolves but many feel powerless in the choosing.
    I’m a hypnotherapist and love to use stories like this to awaken that power in my clients.

    1. It is a great story (I obviously can’t take credit for it!!!) and I totally agree with you about the power of stories – it’s an area I am really interested in at the moment – looking at how stories convey concepts and increase our understanding. Thanks for the comment.

  6. Oh, WOW! Let us budget for food for the good wolf ONLY! This is just THE BEST post I have read since I found your blog! I, too, believe that people will absorb the life lessons they need much more quickly and completely from stories than from expository writing. Parables,myths, fairy tales, allegories–all fantastic teaching tools.

    1. 100% in agreement – I have a feeling that that may be because when we listen to stories our brains engage in a more complete and complex way, firing up all the cylinders and enabling us t grasp subtleties in concepts etc.

  7. I love this but it also really really angers me. I feel like there is too much emphasis in our culture placed upon silencing those who are oppressed. We accuse people who use their natural anger at injustice as being unstable and downright lacking in righteousness. I feel that so many people are lost because they need to appear as if they are feeding the good acceptable wolf. The powers that be have always controlled the little people by appealing to their sense of morality, their sense of needing to appear as good and peaceful.

    Jame’s Baldwin said that in society the powerless, if they are conscious, will be enraged. Of course nobody wants to be a bad wolf. Nobody wants to think they have been turned toward such a creature in themselves. But that’s the reality…when we abuse people we turn them into wild things. It seems the severest form of cruelty to make people who have suffered at the hand of others feels badly about that suffering. To feel they must pretend they are not angry. What if all the angry wolves came together and said let’s have a revolution…. I don’t think all the wolves who have made peace with injustice will be stepping forward. Sorry to sound strident. I am certainly feeding the bad wolf.

    1. Firstly – that doesn’t sound like your bad wolf to me. That sounds like your good wolf, full of righteous indignation, howling at the pain she sees around her and trying to make sense of it. I couldn’t agree more with you about social control and I genuinely think the only way forward for the world is if everybody tries to think, feel and act in ways that are true to themselves. For me the thing about the wolf story is that we so often dismiss evil actions as being perpetrated by evil people – unlike us – and so we don’t think we have any responsibility (or power) to change things. That story really resonated with me because it’s saying it’s a choice. How we act is a choice and I really believe that is true.

      If you hit me and I hit you back I can’t blame you for my actions – your action explains why I hit you but I still need to take responsibility for hitting you. If I do that then I will have to activate all my capacities as a human being and not just operate at a very low, adaptive level and that might make a difference to what I do – or not – but at least I will be full engaged.

      The massacres in Rwanda are an horrific example of what I’m trying to describe. 800,000 people were murdered in 100 days. It takes a lot o work – and a lot of murderers – to even accomplish that. People say it was, variously, the fault of the Belgians, the French, the Tutsis, the Hutu – and it is true that awful injustice – colonial and national – was the pattern. But butchering babies and children? Rivers running with blood and dead bodies? How could this possibly be seen to redress the balance. Which leaves us with ‘evil.’ The thing is, I don’t believe that Rwanda has more evil people than any other country – so how did average enough people turn into butchering monsters? Well, if I could answer that they might give me a medal (!) but I am suggesting that at least part of the problem – even in Rwanda – is that we base our actions on what other people have done to us. We not only base them on what others have done we use the actions of others to excuse and justify actions we probably know in our heart of hearts are wrong. When we do this we seem to act out of a very primitive part of our brains and not engage our uniquely human capacities.

      It might seem harsh to make a victim of anything take responsibility for how she or he acts but to me it gives back dignity and power – as Viktor Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

      Thank you so much for your comment, by the way. I appreciate it.

      1. Thank you so much for your kind response. I felt so afraid you were going to hate me for my reply by the time I woke this morning I had determined to give up blogging. This is such a provocative topic, it seems we could sit and discuss it at length for the rest of our lives. I love Viktor Frankl. He inspires me to hold onto my voice. As I was driving to work today I thought of all the goodness and truth we each hold inside of us, and how we need to hold fast to it, run and hide with it in the bushes while those who seek to destroy it pass along their way. Harrison Ford came to mind, and I thought of Indiana Jones, how he would be the kind of person who could cling to the goodness while at the same time managing through all the muck and the mire. I thought I would like to learn to see my own goodness as something I too must protect, as it is important to the world, in reality it is the only thing the world really wants from us. I feel fortunate to be the sort of person who still has it in me to not only notice something authentic and of value that is mine, but to realize it can be so easily lost, stolen, pummeled. left to rot. My heart mourns for those in war torn countries who have yet to find words, the sanctuary of the blessed narratives we run to for shelter and feel so entitled to do so. And beyond words, their bodies have been taken from them.

        1. I was delighted with your response not at all upset, it was honest and forthright and earnest and thoughtful – so thank you. I love the Indiana Jones metaphor – the goodness inside us isn’t an ornament to be dusted and admired – it’s a tool to get us through the mire – brilliant picture, thanks. Life is screamingly, painfully, frighteningly difficult for so many people – maybe even for all of us some of the time – our goodness is ours though – nobody can take it away – nobody can destroy it – except ourselves if we can’t see we have it as you say – big responsibility sure but also big power.

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